New Years Restoration
New Years Restoration
Instead of setting goals and obligations for 2023, treat yourself to some rest and refill your well to start the new year.
Happy New Year!
This is the season of resolutions. Of promises to do better. To be fitter, healthier, more organized. To adopt that habit everyone has always told you productive, successful people all share.
But we all know that resolutions don’t last, on average. Just because you made a promise on January 1 doesn’t mean you’ll follow through with it. There’s nothing magical about this date, just the rolling over of the calendar.
And let’s be honest: this is the hardest time of year to be making big promises that take a significant time or energy investment. The holidays are not actually a relaxing time for most people. Once you’re out of school and into the real world, you find that everything doesn’t stop for you to enjoy the season. Now, you’re balancing big expectations for family time, finding the perfect gift, and fitting everyone into your packed schedule with all the normal life responsibilities that have been piling on all year.
This time of year, our willpower is depleted. Our tanks are empty. Our wells are dry. And maybe we just want to stay in bed all day…
So instead of promising we’re going to go to the gym every day because we feel like that’s what we should do… what if our New Year’s resolution this year is instead about slowing down? About refilling instead of depleting? How do we vow to start the year off by restoring our energy instead of tapping it?
One: get outside
Even if the weather is frightful, grab your warmest gear and get out there. As they say in Scandinavia (at least, according to the majority of the attributions I’ve found for this aphorism) there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. So northerners, bundle up! And if you’re lucky enough to live in the southern hemisphere this time of year, then what are you waiting for? Enjoy the sun and the warm air!
Getting out into nature has innumerable health benefits, but the cognitive ones are the ones you’re most likely needing right now. According to numerous studies (see this 2020 APA article for a summary of a number of them), getting out into nature can help reset your attention, replenish your cognitive resources, and boost your mood.
Two: stay inside
Hear me out… I’m not trying to negate the previous statement. But sometimes it can feel so indulgent to give yourself permission to just curl up in a blanket with your favorite warm beverage and watch a loved movie or read an immersive book.
The important part of this process is the permission. The problem with how we try to relax at home is often that we end up splitting our attention. We feel guilty about what we think we should be doing at home — and there’s always something we could be doing — so we don’t let ourselves truly relax.
Not good at convincing yourself? If you really need to, take an hour to check off the most stressful items on your list. Clear a space for yourself, so you’re not reminded of the rest of the items on your to-do list. It can be hard to convince yourself that you don’t need to be folding the laundry while you watch your movie if it’s sitting next to the tv. So here’s your permission to sweep the mess under the rug (or at least put it out of sight in another room).
Three: spend time with loved ones
I’m not talking here about the holiday obligations you’ve just spent a week surviving.
And let’s be honest, the holidays can be fraught. Plenty of families are not safe, not healthy. And even those that are overall great can be really overwhelming when suddenly there’s a huge list of holiday obligations to do with all of them and the expectation that all these obligations feel like the most wonderful time of the year. Even if you love your family, it can be exhausting.
So take a minute to think about the people who make you feel alive. The people who restore you. Make a list of those people and give at least one of them a call. Keep the stakes low — no expectations, just together time. Catch up over the phone or invite them out for coffee or over for a movie marathon. Even better — invite them for a hike or a walk in a park, so you can both benefit from the restorative qualities of nature (see above)!
Four: try a low-stakes creative project
Especially if you are a person who does creative or knowledge work for a living, it can be hard to approach creative projects without putting high expectations on yourself. So this might take a little bit of thought up front, but it can really help you break out of a mental rut.
Pick up a new recipe — or an old favorite — and cook or bake something tasty. Buy a scented candle kit (or pick up the ingredients yourself) and make candles. Paint your nails whatever color makes you smile (or as many colors as you can fit on your hands and feet). Dig up any art supplies you have lying around — markers, washi tape, colorful paper, stickers — and print out some photos from the year to make a scrapbook. Redecorate that one room that makes you feel meh. Or even grab some scrap paper and do some stream-of-consciousness journaling. Throw it away when you’re done — or burn it if you’re feeling dramatic!
The point of this exercise is to let go of expectations. So what if your cake turns out lopsided or you paint all over your cuticles? So what if your stream of consciousness rant sounds like… a stream of consciousness rant? No one is grading you. No one is judging you. Just enjoy the experience, and don’t worry about the results.
Take care of yourself
The holidays can be hard, so don’t ring in the new year by putting even more pressure on yourself. Give yourself permission to rest and recover. Ask yourself what you need — refilling your well may look different from my suggestions above. Maybe there’s something not on this list that makes you feel refreshed and alive. Find it.
And then do it. No judgment.